Have a father, often coach child learning. A day night, the title of a few maths that the child gives father is done was opposite, father says gladly: "You are too marvellous, get a mathematician quite. " complimentary later, father gave a few maths to inscribe again, think he is met completely more of effort go doing, but unexpectedly he looked twice to cry only: "I am not done. " this kind of manner of the child makes father amazed really. Tell normally, the child gets complimentary later, he has meeting drive more confidence goes learning, it is the child wanted to do no longer however in fact however, is this why?
Original problem goes in father complimentary on. Father praises the child with the title of mathematician, make the child has some of forget oneself, think oneself really very marvelous. Just when he is had his heart filled with glad when, the exercise problem that he sees father stays again has difficulty quite, oneself are afraid be not done, and cannot do oneself what to mathematician still calculate? This plants father exaggerated complimentary make the child flinchs, him not dare redo goes down, be afraid of the mathematician image that in destroying father memory, just fashions. This shows, complimentary child also should notice skill, exaggerated and disloyal word should be used less as far as possible or need not. Complimentary and beyond the mark or complimentary impropriety can be just the opposite to what one wished.
So, how complimentary ability can achieve the goal of incentive child? Abroad thinks about the expert, had better be the process that understands the child to do a business, the fine bitter intention the child and hard effort look in the eye, next again complimentary child. For example, after the child is writing a composition, such you are OK on serious reading foundation saying: "The begin of this article is very good, the begin that you can think up such literary quotation to serve as an article nots allow really easy; This intermediate example is written very in detail complete, explain you passed careful observation. A terminal word is more wonderful also, come with it bring out the theme is very appropriate... . " such, the hardship that you cost the child on the composition spoke out one by one, the smile of happy self-confidence can be permeated with the face in the child to go up immediately, can there still be more commendable than parental understanding thing on the world?
So, observe attentively and understand, give the child's expression and achievement specifically, this is a kind of skill of complimentary child.